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Marriage; necessary any longer?

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In your personal opinion, is marriage necessary any longer?

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Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Soviet on 20th January 2012, 1:52 am

Personally, the whole process is redundant to me. You go through this huge process, following customs and traditions of religious practice or practices set forth by a religion at some point, and all the while, you end up spending a bunch of money on a ceremony that nobody actually wants to attend, then you sign a paper, become Mr. and Mrs. and divorce 7 years later. I'm "anti-marriage" because I think that marriage isn't necessary and it's a waste of time.

If you want to get married, you don't need a pastor and you don't need government papers. Move in with your girl, and become married under Common Law.

When I say "necessary", I'm talking about the 1960's image of a white picket fence, the pristine bungalow house and flawless lawn. The expectation is still there, but nobody has the ability to make it happen, because the whole man of the house and woman in the kitchen concept doesn't actually work anymore.

But, that's just my opinion, of course. If I was running a country, I wouldn't ban marriage, I just personally don't see marriage as necessary, and won't be getting married. Except under Common Law.

... And I won't be having kids either.

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by chevosky on 20th January 2012, 3:33 am

I have been with my partner now 12 years and got 2 kids , yet remain unmarried so I would say its redundant- but should remain as people do prefer to be joined in wedlock for various reason personal to them

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Soviet on 20th January 2012, 3:36 am

chevosky wrote:I have been with my partner now 12 years and got 2 kids , yet remain unmarried so I would say its redundant- but should remain as people do prefer to be joined in wedlock for various reason personal to them

And you're obviously very happy with your partnership, right? Is this a personal choice or that you just haven't had the funds/time to get married?

To me, the bonds of love are stronger than marriage, and since people tend to put marriage bonds before bonds of love, it breaks the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship and turns it authoritative. It's the end of freedom and individualism, and the beginning of constant judgments and stereotypes and conformism that will be forced upon the married couple. Redundant and unhealthy, comrade. Wink

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by chevosky on 20th January 2012, 6:20 am

No - its a personal choice. We do not need a wee bit of paper to tell us we are together.

In my opinion , what should happen is that marriage ceremonies should be reserved for those of us that wish a religious binding, and for those of us that do not - after a set period of time, say, 5 years or so, the couple should be able to apply to the state to be recognised as as common law man and wife by the state.

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Soviet on 20th January 2012, 6:33 am

chevosky wrote:...after a set period of time, say, 5 years or so, the couple should be able to apply to the state to be recognised as as common law man and wife by the state.

I don't know about other countries, but in Canada, if you live with your partner for 12 months, you're automatically considered to be married under common law.

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Comrade Vince on 20th January 2012, 6:46 am

I think it's sort of a symbol of eternal commitment to the person in question.

I do think that's all it is, however, and each person should act upon his or her own volition after it's done.
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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Soviet on 20th January 2012, 7:20 am

Comrade Vince wrote:I think it's sort of a symbol of eternal commitment to the person in question.

I like to find more meaningful symbols of my eternal commitment.

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Comrade Vince on 20th January 2012, 8:08 am

Soviet wrote:
Comrade Vince wrote:I think it's sort of a symbol of eternal commitment to the person in question.

I like to find more meaningful symbols of my eternal commitment.

If a symbol lacks meaning: Then it's not a symbol.
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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by IvanGray on 20th January 2012, 8:44 am

Soviet wrote:
Comrade Vince wrote:I think it's sort of a symbol of eternal commitment to the person in question.

I like to find more meaningful symbols of my eternal commitment.

And different things are more meaningful to different people. Personally, I don't think marriage is necessary, either, but once my fiancé and i are ready well be tieing the know. Why? Largely because her and I would both like to, and I enjoy making her happy. It's also an easy way to say to the world that you wish to be together until the end of your days. Divorce tends to happen more to people who marry for the wrong reasons.

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Insertnamehere on 20th January 2012, 11:17 am

I find it quite meaningless to some because many still get married to please other people. Getting married for the right reasons is a personal choice. Marriage is like being cuffed to the person. I fee like relationships should feel like you want it without being stuck. It should be a choice.

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Comrade Vince on 20th January 2012, 1:13 pm

Insertnamehere wrote:I find it quite meaningless to some because many still get married to please other people. Getting married for the right reasons is a personal choice. Marriage is like being cuffed to the person. I fee like relationships should feel like you want it without being stuck. It should be a choice.

So you're fine with it as long as the people involved are not being forced to do it against their will?

Doesn't the same principal essentially apply to every single concept and enterprise known to man with the obvious exception of the penal code?
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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Insertnamehere on 20th January 2012, 1:29 pm

Comrade Vince wrote:
So you're fine with it as long as the people involved are not being forced to do it against their will?

Doesn't the same principal essentially apply to every single concept and enterprise known to man with the obvious exception of the penal code?

Well I feel like even if it is their will without being forced, if they feel pressured by others it's still not fair. Many people are still shunned for choosing not to marry. Some people just want to save their money. It's just a paper. It's not okay to feel the need to marry, just for the document so you're accepted.

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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Comrade Vince on 20th January 2012, 2:49 pm

Insertnamehere wrote:
Comrade Vince wrote:
So you're fine with it as long as the people involved are not being forced to do it against their will?

Doesn't the same principal essentially apply to every single concept and enterprise known to man with the obvious exception of the penal code?

Well I feel like even if it is their will without being forced, if they feel pressured by others it's still not fair. Many people are still shunned for choosing not to marry. Some people just want to save their money. It's just a paper. It's not okay to feel the need to marry, just for the document so you're accepted.

That's true, but social stigmas/peer pressure is never good things, and isn't exclusive to this institute. But I'd say that will go out the window now that the church is less affiliated with marriage.

Shunning and churches goes hand in hand, people should just call them "Shunches".
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Re: Marriage; necessary any longer?

Post by Comrade Chernov on 21st January 2012, 9:39 am

Marriage is no more than a state of mind. Humans gather in an area, one of them communicates with two others, those two others exchange a brief moment of physical contact, and that's that, nothing has changed except for their brains. If you think about it, it really is no more than a mindset.

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